This is Bobby. He made the unfortunate mistake of going on a hike with my brother. This is how he ended up. Before long the turkey vultures came in and started nibbling on him. Then they became more voracious and pulled pieces of flesh from his hot body. Coyotes made off with the camera equipment. And at night scorpions came and picked away at what was left of him. The sad thing is that it didn't have to happen. Here's how he could have prevented this terrible accident:1. Don't go hiking with my brother.
2. Take plenty of water. And drink it. In the desert your sweat contains lots of salt, so consume some salt in the form of electrolytes in a sports drink like Gatorade. Or eat Cheetos. Seriously, they will help you from becoming hyponutremic (salt deficient). (Good word for the day, see if you can use it in a conversation today).
3. Dress appropriately. Keep from getting sunburned with long pants, long-sleeved shirt, and a wide-brimmed hat. Wear ankle-supporting boots. Use sunglasses (you got this one right, Bobby).
4. Be in good physical shape. Overexertion in the desert heat can tire you out even faster. Know your limits and don't exceed them.
5. Have a plan. Know where you're going and how to get there. If you don't arrive within a certain time period, have a preplan that your contact will notify authorities and start searching for you. Trust me, helicopters are better than turkey vultures flying overhead when you think you might be dead.
6. Don't go hiking during the heat of the day. Seek shade and do your hiking during the cooler hours.
7. Don't go hiking with my brother.
Memorials can be sent via the comment section of this blog. I'll be sure that they get passed on to Bobby's friends and family.
Alas, poor Bobby. I thought that you learned your lesson in Alabama. Rules 1 and 7 apply at all times. There is a bigger rule, rule #8. Don't believe Desert Survivor when she tells you that a hike is "not far", "relatively flat" or anything else of that nature. : )
ReplyDeleteA true survivor
hehehe. One down, more to go!
ReplyDeleteShae, run for the hills! No, you are probably safer in your dorm room.
ReplyDeleteDeeply concerned
Ah, my life was good. My only regret is that I was fooled into ignoring Rules #1 and #7. It seems that the brother has learned much from the Desert Survivor. At the base of hike I was tricked with "It's not that far up" and "It looks larger than it is". Oh well, I shall now take my time haunting all which think about going on hikes with Desert Survivor's brother. Maybe I can save others from my mistake.
ReplyDeleteGhost of Bobby
Am I the only one to have ingnored the number one rule and survived!? Yes, I thought it might be a bad idea to hike to the bottom of the Grand Canyon and back up in one day since there were 4 signs saying not to do so but rule #1 said those were just for sissy tourists! Who will ever stop this monster!
ReplyDeleteP.S. when is our next trip Bubba Schenk? I still got my Crampons!
But it looks so nice to go down that canyon...I think I'd risk it just to get out into that water.
ReplyDeleteI am always looking for places to go and some company for weekend hikes. I have pack goats as a hobby.
ReplyDeleteThey are helpful for carrying water, and the bodies of co-hikers if you first quarter them. ;-)
Have your brother drop me a note.
r
c
jones
@
xmission.com